As I was retrospecting through my life I observed a very unique phenomenon about friends and the established notion that it is the ego that comes between friendship.
I went a step further and tried to find out how this ego originates and breaks friendship.I Strongly think that there is more to it and it is the expectations that we keep from our friends.
When we befriend someone we expect him to act in the way we want him to.
These expectations vary with different people your so called friends. You would want your best friend to be your alter ego and act/react in the same way you would in a particular situation ; take the stance you would have taken and support you as and when required.
You would have no expectations with the strangers or may have negative expectations from your conceived enemies and are ready for any assault whatsoever from them in any form.
What happens when your friends act/react in a way you wouldn't have expected ?
This results in sour relations with him/her.
So Misunderstanding according to me is your inability to understand why he/she acted in a way you didnt want him to and what were the reasons that forced him to act in that way.
This can be due to your inability to judge the person completely or any other specific reason / critical situation the person was in when he acted in that way.
I think that we should give sufficient time before we declare "we are friends now" . We should map into our minds the actions/reactions of the counterpart in different situations.
The best way to escape from this complicated process and what I would suggest you is never expect anything from anyone. It hurts when the expectations are not met. So best way out is be neutral be simple and "NEVER EXPECT"
I went a step further and tried to find out how this ego originates and breaks friendship.I Strongly think that there is more to it and it is the expectations that we keep from our friends.
When we befriend someone we expect him to act in the way we want him to.
These expectations vary with different people your so called friends. You would want your best friend to be your alter ego and act/react in the same way you would in a particular situation ; take the stance you would have taken and support you as and when required.
You would have no expectations with the strangers or may have negative expectations from your conceived enemies and are ready for any assault whatsoever from them in any form.
What happens when your friends act/react in a way you wouldn't have expected ?
This results in sour relations with him/her.
So Misunderstanding according to me is your inability to understand why he/she acted in a way you didnt want him to and what were the reasons that forced him to act in that way.
This can be due to your inability to judge the person completely or any other specific reason / critical situation the person was in when he acted in that way.
I think that we should give sufficient time before we declare "we are friends now" . We should map into our minds the actions/reactions of the counterpart in different situations.
The best way to escape from this complicated process and what I would suggest you is never expect anything from anyone. It hurts when the expectations are not met. So best way out is be neutral be simple and "NEVER EXPECT"
2 comments:
kya likhte ho be.. :)
i admit that i learned this attitude from you...to draw line b/w a friend and a real friend..to live without expecting anything from anyone..because clinging with someone finally hurts at the end..i learned not to take pain but give the double in return...huuhhaahhaa...
its not the matter of giving or taking pains....
giving pains is also not expected bcz some day or the other that comes to you....
but the pnt what I am trying to make its better to have only real frnds and not just frndsss...
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